Isn’t it too often that we blame everything else except ourselves for our misfortunes? We blame the weather, we blame colleagues, friends, our spouse, even our children at times. Maybe we blame the cat or the goldfish.
But almost never do we blame ourselves for the bad things that happen to us, while we give credit to ourselves for all the better things that come our way.
And it’s not wrong. It’s human nature. It’s our way to preserve our confidence, our psyche. Our reasoning to avoid our minds from going down a spiral of despair.
Nevertheless, there is a dangerous downside to this natural phenomenon, which can perhaps be a lot more damaging in the long run.
Realising something needs to change and having the courage to make that change.
Change is painful. That I can tell you.
Any change, no matter how big or small is a transformation.
Physical change may require surgery or hours everyday on the treadmill. This kind of physical change, is more obvious to us. We feel the muscle pain, the recovery period, and all. Most importantly, we went through the process of self-talk and self-discovery. We admitted there was something wrong with us, that required change; such as our weight. That was our ‘tipping point’. When we said, enough, I’m going to do this and get through the whole hurdle and pain.
The process is no different when it comes to the mind. The only thing is, it’s invisible. It happens within ourselves. The pain can at times be much more unbearable than muscle pains. We can’t rub ointment on our minds like sore muscles.
When we talk about personal growth and changing our core values, our mindsets, it’s comparable to undergoing surgery without anaesthesia. That is why the helping profession exists. To assist, support and provide a safe space for individuals who realised they want to change, to be able to undergo that change in the least painful way possible.
Do we fear public speaking? And if we want to grow our marketing career, is that something we need to overcome, no matter the pain?
Are we able to admit we have anger management issues? Can we tell ourselves we need to stop telling ourselves stories just to keep our egos from shattering? Can we truly tell ourselves to wake up and smell the smoke? Only when we bare the painful truths to ourselves, can the change process for a better version of us truly happen.
Everything that happens to us, is in someway a reflection of us. The world is always telling you what you need to do to level up in life. The only question is, have you been paying attention.
Is personal change impossible?
As difficult as it may seem, when you come down to it, all the heartaches and misfortunes that we blame others for can only really be attributed to us. It is impossible to change or control others, but we have our own freewill to change ourselves.
I like to tell myself, that when you’re dealing with difficult situations, and you change yourself (such as increasing your tolerance or patience) instead of blaming others, it’s not about waving the white flag or being submissive. At the end of the day, it’s you yourself who has leveled up from the situation. It’s you who have learned and honed new skills, prepping you to take on even bigger challenges in the future.
Personal growth and self actualisation.
The tipping point is when we tell ourselves that we’ve had enough, and that we’re going to do something about it. And it’s a very important key towards personal growth. It’s about growing up as a person. It’s about moving towards becoming more self-actualised.
Now why would anyone want to strive for self-actualisation?
Because life has always been about feeling you have accomplished something, about having truly lived and discovering your purpose in life.
Everyone is their own hero. Everyone’s got a specific purpose that only themselves can unlock. To reach that full potential as a person requires constant change, evolving and growing within ourselves.
Admitting there is a problem with our way of thinking, our attitude or so will always be painful. But as the popular saying goes, ‘no pain, no gain’. There is more truth to it than a simple rhyme.
Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.– Carl Jung